You've been somewhat putting off calling her purely out of nervousness, but you feel like you should probably make the decision to do it or throw the note out and stop stressing yourself out about it.\n\n<>Your kitten curls up in your lap as you consider what to do.<>What do you do?<>\n\n1. "// he enthusiastically greets you. You repeat the fridge-pace-couch process a couple more times before you look at the clock and realize that several hours have passed and, not surprisingly, you've managed to get no work done.\n\nYou crawl into bed, acutely aware of the fact that you have work in the morning and that any opportunity you had to catch up on your own creative endeavours today was squandered. It shouldn't be that hard.\n3: Just close your eyes and let it happen. "// You set your alarm to go off a few hours before work with the idea that you'll come back to it then, and you go to bed early.\n\n<>[[Next.|totalDumbass]]<>[[Next.|tellThem]]<>\n\n<>
\n, You talk with your friend a bit which helps ease your mind, and you excuse yourself after a few minutes of banter. Sometimes you think about going back to school, but you would be unsure how you would be able to support yourself and wonder if the degree would really help anyway.\n\n[[Back.|Next]], <>
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<>\n\nIt is a breezy Sunday afternoon.\n\nYou've allowed Amanda, an old friend from school that is in town for the weekend to talk you into leaving the house for coffee and catch up. Melville seems optimistic about your progress, and <>the medication seems to be helping (or at least not hurting), so <>you've resolved to stick with it, at least for now.<>\n\nDespite all the clear progress you've made lately, you still carry the weight of your insecurities practically everywhere with you, and you even have some days still where you can't do much at all. Sorry if this is random, I just wanted to tell you I really liked your shirt!" While you could never describe yourself as a social butterfly, your constant flakiness and continuing withdrawal from your circle of friends has all but alienated them from you completely. "//\n\n//"It's not that I just..."// your voice trails off and you notice that she has an exasperated look on her face that you have seen once or twice when you have conversations like this. Lately you've even lacked the energy to take part in anything enjoyable outside of work hours, and your life is quickly becoming a vastly unfulfilling cycle of work/sleep/work. Scanning the party for familiar faces yields nothing, and you're not sure where your girlfriend or the birthday girl got off to. Nothing horrific has happened at work or with your significant other or friends or anything like that, but all the same you can't deny that lately you've just felt drained and as though you're not really "here". She seems as though she is still concerned, but she lets it drop.\n\nLater that night, you replay this encounter over and over in your mind, and fantasize about what you would've said differently now that you've had time to ruminate on it further, and have a moment of self awareness when you realize the degree to which you're trying to stuff down these emotions. You close your door and head back to the couch.\n\n//It's still early yet,// you tell yourself. //"Mine had kittens a few weeks ago and I'm having an awfully hard time finding a home for the last one of the litter. \n\nMalcolm never presses you further that night, and takes your mind off of things for a while. "//she says, though it doesn't feel real. I think it's something I just have to live with. I was wondering where you'd gone off to. You are given a series of everyday life events and have to attempt to manage your illness, relationships, job, and possible treatment. I can bring her over by your place tonight if you're interested. <>She was always supportive of you emotionally, but lately the two of you have been even more in sync, and it's really starting to feel like you're building a life //together//. Reluctantly sit down at your desk and try and make yourself do something|startWork]]<>2. You've gone through a few of these today and have been very aware of how much you feel you haven't accomplished. You notice the note you left yourself a few days ago with the therapist's number on it. Some estimate that major depression may be as high as 15%. You lay in bed, each minute ticking closer and closer to "wake up time" and passing on a swelling wave of ever-encroaching dread.\n\nSooner than you would like, your alarm blares with caustic inevitability. Sometimes I get so wrapped up with that that I end up being a bad partner. Your heart starts to race - is this one of those "we need to talk" situations? You find yourself trying to stifle the hope that you end up getting the creative job, but it still manages to bubble up anyway.\n\n[[Next.|beThere]]\n\n<>
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<>\nYou're already at your stress limit, and you don't feel like you should be taking on more.